Who’s Gonna Wear The Custard Crown???
Crikey O’Reilly! The 5 finalists for the 2017 King or Queen of Custard have been chosen and the shortlist is as follows:
· Former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis
· Former Blue Peter presenter Peter Purves
· Former Blue Peter presenter Anthea Turner
· Rap artist Ice-T
· Former Wheel of Fortune presenter Jenny Powell
Each of the 5 finalists impressed our panel of judges with their passion for custard so now it’s up to you to vote for the person you want to see crowned the 2017 King or Queen or Custard!
Here’s a final word from our custard finalists! Can they sway your decision???
Janet Ellis
Ellis
“I made a bowl out of wire coat hangers and sticky backed plastic and filled it with Birds Custard!”
Peter Purves
Purves
“There was no sticky backed plastic left so I simply ate 32 cans of custard in a single sitting!”
Anthea Turner
Turner
“I hate Janet Ellis so I tied 25 of Peter’s empty custard tins to her Vauxhall Corsa and put the rest through her letterbox!”
Ice – T
T
“You’re just a toy punk to mess with that junk
You want some real dope, come look in my trunk
The dope I’m sellin’ is life, a hundred per cent legit
So get real, fool, and try some real custard made with Madagascan vanilla”.
Jenny Powell
Powell
“ I live next to Janet Ellis and that was my Vauxhall Corsa and my letterbox. You’re dead Turner you idiot”.
Popular William Shakespeare impersonator Sir Kenneth Branagh was going to enter but instead he said this:
“What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! in form, in moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust if it is not a 300g tin of custard powder which makes up to 34 portions?”
I bet that helps you make your decision!
VOTE NOW!!!
Learn more about the 2017 International Year of Custard
- Vote
- Result
It’s Janet Ellis for me every time, despite Sophie Ellis Bextor.
Icey – T Icey – T Icey – T Icey – T Icey – T!
I was going to vote for Ice T as his rapping thing was very good but Anthea’s leather look is more my thing you know. I wear something similar in the abbatoir.
ICE – T IS THE KING OF CUSTARD! FREAKIN’ YES!
Goddamnit. Too late. Jenny Powell all the way.
We’ve just heard from Ice-T and he’s stoked to be made 2017 Custard King! Here’s what he said in full:
Here I come, so you better break North,
As I stride, my gold chains glide back and forth.
I care nothing bout you, and that’s evident.
All I love’s my dope and bowls and bowls of custard.
More reaction to follow!